Recovery from the flu includes getting rest, drinking lots of healthy liquids, giving yourself permission to cease from stressful responsibilities and perhaps taking medication to relieve symptoms. Recovering from depression can include a plan for wellness also. I found myself in a situation where I felt victimized by this horrible and overwhelming cloud of depression that caused me to only see the world through the dark glasses of hopelessness. I did not know why this two ton rock of oppression hit me nor how I was going to return to my normal positive and upbeat self. I knew it felt bigger than me and wondered if I had to submit to its dictatorship in order to release myself of its powerful and unrelenting hold. I spent months at a time rehearsing my liberation of its merciless grasp through the plans and attempts of suicide. In the energetic moments where I felt more myself I was able to see what I was experiencing was a condition I desired to change. I sought information and gained knowledge of recovery principles and hunted for solutions that would work for me to remove myself from depression's death grip.

Through researching the internet, reading self help books and talking with others who had experienced the same feelings of desperation, I was able to better understand not only why I experienced depression, but what to do about it to regain my sanity. Even though the concept of recovery is simple, it can be a challenge to develop. I found that just as I implemented a specific plan to recover from the flu, I could implement a plan for my recovery from depression that included making a list of tools for my wellness that helped me feel better; getting enough sleep, making intimate connections with friends, expressing through art and journaling, eating healthy foods and seeing a therapist that really listened between the lines of what I was saying. The medications that had been prescribed for me caused many unacceptable side effects and were not effective enough for my satisfaction.

As I identified the external events that trigger me and cause internal reactions that feel so overwhelming in my life, I could look at my list of wellness tools that support my recovery to create a plan of action for my recovery of debilitating depressing symptoms. The more I instituted my plan for recovery, the better I felt and was able to take personal responsibility for my daily wellness. I was able to eventually not need the many medications I had previously needed.

Maintaining a list of tools for my wellness and utilizing them in my daily life helps me better handle the external triggers that occur. I have more resiliency and healthier coping mechanisms in place now that are very effective. I continue to educate myself on what works for my health and wellness and I take personal responsibility for it. I no longer feel victimized by an unknown monster of depression rather I feel empowered to make wise choices in my life that promote my wellness and recovery from the devastating cloud of major depression.

© Janet Laird