In fact, I've learned that it's true in bigger ways, and in more situations, than I ever realized before!
I titled this post What We All Need because I'm coming to realize that (well - the title says it) we ALL need this!
I'm finding that being seen and heard (which means being listened to, sat with - by someone with no agenda, no plans for my/your improvement) is IT.
It's what we all need. Vitally. Like oxygen!
Which means, of course, that we need to be that for others as well.
I wrote this in response to grief*:
A friend's young-adult daughter died in a car accident,
around the same time that one of my clients (I was a therapist at the time) was dealing with similar (to my friend's) staggering losses -
and my own grief (over loss of my son, over loss of my family's matriarch, over frightening losses in childhood...) resonated - by opening my heart wider, as grief has habit of doing - if you let it.
And I asked myself (and spirit): how can I help? what do we need when we're grieving, what did I want when I was in acute grief? what helps?
This is what I got:
I thought that my role was
to hold up a lantern
in the dark,
Shine you the path
until your eyesight
and you could take it
on your own.
Turns out that my role is
to sit with you
in the cold,
on the rim of a yawning chasm.
And, at times, to move with you
our foreheads glistening with fear,
clammy hands clasped together -
backs to the wall
groping our way,
occasionally stubbing our toes on diamonds.
*Like I said above the poem, what I'm finding now is -> We ALL need this. Whether we're actively grieving, whether we're grieving huge losses or small, even if we're not grieving at all -
we all need, in any time of darkness (and we all have those!), to clasp our clammy hands together - backs to the wall - and sit with each other (we will find diamonds!).
p.s. Why yes, you have seen this photo before! It's one of Slightly-British Daughter's - and I adore it (and her!), so I've used it before on the blog.