I have a lot of ideas! No, really, I have a LOT of ideas!
Ideas about: How to create this, that and the other. How to fix this, that and the other. How to alter this, that and the other. How to teach this, that and the other. How to write this, that and the other. And more...usually involving this, that and the other.
Those ideas take up a ton of space in my mind. So I also have ideas on how to document, combine, organize, remember, and work with the ideas about this, that and the other.
And do you know what I love almost more than anything else? Talking with other idea-generators, because that causes exponential growth in ideas! Crazy, huh?
But, I only have the same amount of time in each day that everyone else has - no more, or less, than folks who say that they scramble for ideas. No more, or less, than folks who say they wouldn't know an idea if it was floating in their soup.
That 24-hours-in-a-day time restraint means that I can't execute all the ideas I come up with. Neither can any of the other idea-generators I know!
You could say that, when I can't execute all my ideas, I try to execute myself. It would an be an exaggeration and quite silly of you, but you could say it. Don't let me stop you.
Seriously though, I have been very hard on myself about not getting to things, not finishing things, forgetting (or losing) ideas or projects...
I've had some help with that. I can still hear nagging voices from my childhood (if you're an idea-generator too, I bet you know just what I mean).
The thing is - all of a sudden I've gotten a few things done! It started a bit ago when I was sick and had no internet connection for awhile.
I picked up a sock I was knitting (for over a year), finished it - and began it's mate. Both are now done. Done, done (not the more typical: "almost done, one seam to go")! I've worn them a couple times - yea! I also got some organizing done.
But this is NOT a post about getting your a** in gear and finishing things - or organizing your ideas better. Nooooooo!
What I wanted to tell you was: I had a surge of joy when I was sittin' knittin' and leaned into the process - enjoyed the feel of the yarn, the beauty of the colors (hand-painted yarn in ocean colors - ooooh la la!!), the comfort of sitting in a cozy place.
And mostly - the joy came when I accepted that I was just sitting there knitting - and maybe I wouldn't get anything done. This was, obviously, before I finished anything.
I sat there and knit (knitted? ohshit, what's the past tense of knit?? not knat???) and told myself: Hey, this might turn out to be a sock that I wear - or it might be another half done thing that I eventually undo, roll the yarn up, and give to someone else who likes to knit.
And it didn't matter! I enjoyed the process and I got off my own back about having to finish stuff.
I started thinking about how free that felt - the not judging. And how I could let the thing ripple out. I could stop fretting about not getting to all the projects I come up with - and then not get upset about not turning all the ideas I come up into projects (as if)...
and wow - whole new world, right?
I know! I know! this is not new stuff - but it felt new because I was doing it right then! I knitted not caring whether I finished.
The point of this, and probably the point of everything I write (even when it looks like I'm just being silly) is: give yourself a break, find a grace space, ACCEPT yourself NOW!
Accept yourself the way you are NOW! (not after the makeover, weight loss, space clearing, tap dance trophy, new friends, more money or new job - NOW!).
And here's a funny thing: "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change". Carl Rogers