I was just out walking. Which I love. And I was listening to Wilco on the mp3 player that my sweet daughter got me (and loaded with my favorite music because she knows what a technotwit I am) for Christmas. And I was loving a Nels Cline solo - got to the end of it and figured I'd replay it - because, hey, it's so lovely to control the universe, you know?
Really I wasn't thinking about controlling the universe, I was just thinking that the song gave me such a good feeling, so why not hear it again? But I stopped myself from making the same song repeat. I decided to listen to what came next. And, believe me, that's a big deal. I usually repeat the same songs over and over and over and over and over (you get it, right?) until no one within earshot can hear the first few bars without a spontaneous gag reflex thing happening.
Somehow I saw the connection between what I do with music and what I want to do with life. I'd like very much to push the replay button on the "good" parts of life. If only I could find the darn thing. And I have tried.
And lately I've been forced (damn! damn! damn!) to learn that I cannot push the Universe's replay, and that - further knowledge (draw a deep breath for effect) - I really don't know which times are the good times and which are the bad. Or whether maybe, somehow, they ALL are good - when you look at them from a different perspective.