I want to whine today - I dragged myself upstairs to the computer thinking that I might drop a note to a couple friends letting them know what's current in my sorry state of affairs.
But then I remembered that I'd promised myself I'd write something in Square-Peg Reflections first thing on Tuesdays and Thursdays ...
And I WAS going to whine about car trouble (2 cars dead in a 2 car family) and work scheduling problems and problems - for two months - scheduling my son's fencing test-out... (oh, look how cleverly I worked a little whine in here--lol)..
The thing is - yesterday I had a revelation! It was the TRUTH.
Right in between used car shopping with my daughter and a lunch date with a friend (that would turn out to be the death knoll for our 2nd car) I got a package in the mail.
Someone anonymously mailed me the newest edition of Artella.
Right on the envelope was a note saying that this was an anonymous gift. And what a gift! For any of you who don't know Artella - the magazine is something you open at your own peril - you can OD on creativity and beauty after just a few pages.
I was choked up about receiving the package. And then the Nepalese paper that came as part of the magazine- in this precious envelope - with an incredible description of how the envelopes are used - just blew me away.
The story was - paraphrasing (pathetically) something like: you don't write on the envelope, it's part of the gift you give. You write on whatever you put inside - the envelope keeps circulating - you send it to someone, that person sends it to someone...etc...
until it's worn out - then whoever has it last hangs it on their wall as a symbol of prosperity.
The TRUTH of my prosperity - my abundance - and deeper than that: my belonging in the grand scheme of things, in the universe, in the now, right where I am - radiated both into and out of me while I held that paper in my hands.
Many experiences and discussions in the past couple weeks have fueled my journey on the path of deeply knowing (not just understanding mentally) my acceptance, my connection with the universe - including hearing wild geese overhead Sunday morning, which caused me to RUN to my Mary Oliver collection and read her poem called Wild Geese (which is probably the best thing ever written about how loved we are- how we belong).
The thing is - even a couple years ago - oh, hell - maybe even last week - the things I wanted to whine about today would have sent me to bed. Pull the covers up - sleep away life.
But yesterday I had that revelation - I belong, I am loved by the universe (the Beloved, God/dess, Higher Power, whatever wording works for you) and THAT is the truth.
The shit stuff: the dead cars, scheduling, anything - even BIG stuff (which I'm not going through right now, but I have - we all have - plenty of experience with BIG stuff--death, disease, abandonment, etc.)pales in comparison with the TRUTH.
The TRUTH is that you - and me SHINE - we're just ablaze with glory and love and wonder -
We belong - we are loved - we ARE love -
and the shit stuff won't matter 10 years from now - but the TRUTH matters every single second.
I might have gotten packages like my anonymously given magazine package other times in the past. I'm pretty sure we all get things like that every day. It might not be a magazine - it could be a flower or it might not be anything you can touch. Maybe sometimes it's just a feeling.
But I think I haven't been paying attention. The TRUTH is out there on every corner and dripping from everything we touch. WE BELONG. WE ARE LOVED.
I hope you let TRUTH touch you today.